Some Hard Truths About Getting Older

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This post is about two months old, and was intended to mark my birthday anniversary on the 4th of August.

I’d like to share a few of the truths and wisdom I’ve learned over the years. After all, being twenty five should count for something eh?

In no particular order:

1. You’ll never have enough time. 

The older you get, the more responsibilities as a result, and thus, the less time you have to sit around idle. These days, I feel like a headless chicken running around to fulfil family obligations, work obligations, self development as well as side hustle. However, this might not be the same for everyone. If unlike me, you’ve got all the time in the world and you find yourself wondering how to spend your time, I envy you! Well, that’s a lie. Read a book!

I was reading my Bible plan on Busyness a couple of weeks ago, and one of the day’s reading was talking about this very topic. The message was to do the best that you can and leave the rest up to God. The honest truth is that 24 hours will never feel like it’s enough, but the creator knows why he made 24 hours in a day. So I’m learning to do my best and leave the magic working up to Him. It will be enough.

 

2. Life will be riddled with self doubt.

The trick however, is to reaffirm your self worth and know that the storm will eventually roll over. So while you’re in that dark place, keep saying to yourself even if you don’t feel it at the time- “this too shall pass.” Trust me, I know what I’m talking about, I’ve been there. Even in my lowest moments when I don’t feel good about one thing or the other, I know it’s just a phase and that soon enough I’d be back to my chirpy self and surely enough I do get out of those funky days when it seems like the sun won’t shine no more.

So my friends, don’t languish in that dark lonesome place. If you must, feel it but make sure to work through whatever it might be and come out at the end of the tunnel smiling. You’d sometimes feel there’s that one person more talented than you or prettier than you or lovable than you. However, it all in your head! There can be only one you and that is powerful!

 

3. You’re only as old as you feel.

It’s weird turning a year older with the strike of the clock at midnight. You’d think that there’d be some monumental change, but really it’s just another day. What changes however, is your perceptions to what you should be doing at that certain age, and perhaps societal’s pressure of what it is you should have accomplished by then. So while I don’t feel any older than I was at 24, I now feel as though like it’s crunch time to take the things I’m working on to the next level and become the ‘achiever’ I want to be. Ain’t nothing wrong about that, but don’t beat yourself up in the process. Enjoy your life, you’ve got only one.

Wanna know a secret?……. It’s actually weird when I say out loud I’m 25. Sometimes I think I’m still 21!

 

4. Friends will come and go.

This is a tough one because I’ve realised that I’m usually that person that keeps a friendship going and hold on tight as much as possible. I hate to let things go especially when I think there’s potential. So sometimes I find myself beating a dead horse, but as I’ve grown older, experience has shown me otherwise and I now understand that some friendships are for a season and people really do come into your life for a reason. Some for ever, and others for a period of time. This too is fine and shouldn’t be fought when the friendship slows down or comes to an abrupt end.

I wrote a poem about relationships/friendships/experiences which describes my feelings towards regret. It’s titled When friendships turn sour- “I’m not one for regrets for every moment spent is a life in itself. Why mourn a life well lived?”

I’m basically saying I don’t believe in regrets. In life, not everything has a happy ending, so look on the bright side and rejoice in the good moments that you had with the friend and try to let go of whatever caused the friendship to end. Some great experiences are really why certain people come into our lives, so never regret allowing them in when they depart. They’ve simply served their purpose and impacted on your life as much as you have in theirs. Be happy in this knowledge and move on with grace. This is one of the reasons I don’t throw away gifts or delete pictures from friends that I’m no longer friends with. It’s always a joy when I see pictures from the good times we had. I smile in remembrance of the memories because in those capsuled moments, we had the time of our lives and nothing will ever change that. Being bitter never made no one feel better. Move on with grace 😉

Lize-14

 

5. You’ll never be able to please everyone. Don’t bother trying, you’ll sleep better.

The thing is, what you do in order to please one person, will be the same thing that might annoy another. Life is a series of juggling acts, don’t juggle more than is intended. Be happy in the knowledge that no one is perfect and that you’ll never be able to perfectly please everyone. Do the best that you can, but be happy.

For example, I believe my parents are my worst critics. In the past I would have knocked myself up whenever they ‘advised’ me on something I was doing wrong, but these days, I nod along, agree with them and say my thank yous.

However, I sleep well and no longer toss and turn in worry. When all is said and done, even your parents are humans, and the earlier you realise this, the better you can start to live a life that pleases you and your creator.

 

6. People will tell you what life is really about.

Sometimes, this can be really annoying especially when it comes from older folks who in their good nature are trying to impart some wisdom to you(I hope you don’t feel that’s what I’m doing here. Oops!). But whose life is it anyway?

Don’t get me wrong, I believe it’s always good to listen to those that came before us, but also remember that no one holds the blue print to life. After all, Aristotle said “It is the mark of an educated mind to be able to entertain a thought without accepting it.”

What works for them might not be what works for you, or what you even want for yourself. So dig deep and ask yourself what you want from life and what it is that it should be really about. For some, religion imparts that knowledge, for others, self discovery and finding your way through your own unique spiritual journey might do it. Either way, you’ll have to stand up for your decisions in life alone. So make sure you’re deciding for yourself.

Lize-9

 

7. If you’re a woman, your clock is ticking.

Haha. This one aptly describes the position I’m in at the moment. If like me, you come from a culture where there is a process to life in that after primary school is secondary school, after secondary school is university, after university is marriage, and after marriage, 9 month later you should be conceiving twins, then welcome to the club. Your clock is ticking!

Things are changing, more women are going into further education, more women are choosing whom and when they marry, more women are beginning to decide if they even want marriage or kids, but let’s face it, your beliefs don’t matter. As far as society is concerned, your biological clock is ticking! So don’t be young and foolish, get em’ in while you can. Hopefully, you can tell that I’m being sarcastic.

Thanks to modern science, we can have surrogates to carry children made from our own eggs and partners sperm. But if you’re going to do that only because you’re now too old to carry your own pregnancy, hopefully you would have frozen some of your golden eggs before you ran dry!

 

8. If you’re a man, life is a ball.

It’s a man’s world after all. There’s nothing more to say about this really, it’s quite obvious I assume.

*sips tea* Don’t come for me!

Don’t mind me! Of course the male folks also have their own issues. For one, having to be macho all the time even when they’d rather crawl in a corner and weep must be draining. Also, the pressure of being financially capable to woo a woman and keep a family must be a tough one, but these days, women are also contributing financially so it ain’t all bad, unless you’re from Nigeria and in order to even ask a girl out on a date, you must be ready to buy her Brazilian weave 😀

 

9. Money can only pay your bills. Happiness will pay the rest.

Just before I finished editing this post, I watched a powerful series(I’ll share it soon!) on You Tube where Cameron Diaz was talking about her life, career and fame. It was interesting how she described fame as being a job. It’s only something she does as an accompaniment to her job as an actress. When she’s at home with family and friends, she’s just Cameron. So for those seeking fame, even when they achieve it, they’ll never be happy. They’ll always keep searching, but the truth is that you need to search within yourself, and not outside of yourself. What will bring success and a lifetime of happiness can only be found within.

Think about it, how many Hollywood stars and famous celebrities have committed suicide or died from addictions in the past couple of years? This alone should tell you that no matter how much money you’ve got in the bank, if you’re not right with yourself, nothing would be right in your world.

You’ll always keep trying to look at the shadow behind you, but whenever you turn, it’s gone. Not because it isn’t there, but because it’s with you already! I’m not sure if this is a good analogy, but I hope you get the message.

Invest in your family, invest in your friends, invest in experiences and how they make you feel. If you’ve got an internet connection and the technology to read this post, then you’re better off than our ancestors who died of simple things like cough. Don’t live a meaningless life.

 

10. Life is as sweet as it can be sour, but more so, sweet.

So live a life enriched with the things you love, people you love and everything else with a cherry on top. Live a life you’d be proud of!

I came across this quote and it’s helped me think of what is most important.

“Life isn’t about getting and having, it’s about giving and being.” –Kevin Kruse

 

I’ll stop here for now, but if you’d rather I continue, pop a comment below. I hope this has been somewhat useful, or at least interesting to read.

Cheers to being 25!

Make-up, hair & styling- Me

Photography- AOgunsphotography

*I gifted myself with this photo shoot to create my 25th year photo album. It includes these and others I’ll be keeping private 🙂

A big thank you to Angela who continues to take stunning photos of me!

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6 Comments

  1. Ava Brown Author, Trainer & Sp

    October 5, 2015 at 11:17 am

    loved this one the most .great blog . You’ll never be able to please everyone. Don’t bother trying, you’ll sleep better.

    • Sewa Folie

      October 5, 2015 at 12:54 pm

      Thanks Ava! I’ve learned to accept this because I’m innately a worrier.

  2. Jr Paul

    October 11, 2015 at 11:19 am

    Hmm I didn’t know you was on here also.. ***Great-Blog***

  3. Mary Princess

    June 29, 2016 at 5:05 pm

    Thanks love…you are absolutely right. People come and go we shud just learn to accept it and accept who you are.

    • Lize

      June 29, 2016 at 10:19 pm

      Exactly! Thanks for stopping by and leaving a comment 🙂

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